There’s a lot of debate these days about what it means to be a man. But maybe the answer is simpler than we think, and a lot of masculinity just comes down to confident competence. A broad set of know-how. The ability to get stuff done. The capacity to move through the world with purpose and skill.

As someone who’s lived several lives in one, Elliot Ackerman certainly embodies that ethos. He’s a decorated Marine, a former CIA paramilitary officer, a National Book Award-nominated novelist, and now the writer of A Man Should Know, a column at The Free Press that explores the small but significant skills that shape a man’s life.

Today on the show, Elliot and I talk about why young men are struggling, how intention, discipline, and competence can change the way a man carries himself, and a few of the specific skills a man should know — from how to wear a watch to how to give a eulogy.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• Elliot’s novels
• Elliot’s “A Man Should Know:” columns:
  • How to Introduce Yourself
  • How to Be a Friend
  • How to Own a Watch
• Fields of Fire by James Webb
• The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien
• The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
• AoM Article: 100 Skills Every Man Should Know
• AoM Skills Archives
• AoM Podcast #307: Make Your Bed, Change the World
• AoM Article: 10 Ways to Be a Better Husband Today
• AoM Article: How to Choose a Watch
• AoM Article: How to Give a Eulogy
• AoM Article: A Eulogy for My Grandfather, William D. Hurst
• The Poetics of Manhood: Contest and Identity in a Cretan Mountain Village by Michael Herzfeld
• AoM Article: MacGyver Manhood and the Art of Masculine Improvisation
• Free Press discount code: subscribe at thefp.com/manliness, and save 10% off your first year

Connect With Elliot Ackerman

• Elliot on IG
• Elliot on X

Listen to the Podcast! (And don’t forget to leave us a review!)

Listen to the episode on a separate page.

Download this episode.

Subscribe to the podcast in the media player of your choice.

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This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

You’re at a party and start chatting with another guest.

Twenty minutes later, you’re still talking with them one-on-one. You feel trapped, and you wish you knew how to break away from the conversation.

Maybe the person is annoying, and you’d like to escape their tedious orbit.

But you also might be talking with a friend and are very much enjoying the interaction. It’s just that you want to catch up with some of the other guests, too. He or she might feel the same way, actually, but neither of you wants to risk seeming rude in ending the exchange.

So how do you navigate this situation? You ideally don’t want to break things off abruptly and leave the person awkwardly standing there on their own.

Here are some options from social and etiquette experts for politely bowing out of a conversation:

Option #1: Introduce the person to someone else.

In my AoM podcast interview with etiquette expert William Hanson, he said that his go-to strategy is to try to pair your conversational partner off with someone else. He described how this would go:

‘Brett, it’s been so lovely talking to you. I’ve just seen someone over there I’ve got to go and get and speak to before they leave. Have you met Susan, however?’

And I’ve sort of seen Susan floating around and I grab her as she comes past and go: ‘Susan, may I introduce Brett? Brett has just flown in from Sydney. And Susan, I believe your mother is from Australia. I’ll leave you two talking.’

And off you go.

Basically, introduce the person to someone else, giving both people a bit of context — a conversation starter — to kick off the new interaction before you slip away.

If someone you can introduce the person to doesn’t happen to pass by, you can actively lead them over to a new conversation partner: “My friend Rob is also in the cyber security field. I want you to meet him; I think you’d enjoy talking shop.”

The strategy of introducing your current conversation partner to someone else is a good one if you think the former and the latter will actually get on. However, if you’ve found the person you’ve been talking to a bore, it would, of course, not be very generous to pawn them off on a friend. It is well that Jeanne Martinet, author of The Art of Mingling, calls this technique “the human sacrifice.” If it’s not a situation where you want to throw an unwitting victim to the gum-flapping wolves, try one of the other options on this list.

Option #2: Use the buffet bye-bye.

When I talked to Martinet on the podcast, she noted that one of the most common categories of conversational exit is what she calls “the buffet bye-bye and other excuses.” That’s where you say something like, “I’m going to go grab a drink/some food. It’s been nice talking to you.”

Martinet says that this option can be effective, but carries a risk: the person may follow you to the bar/buffet line. So the excuse she recommends instead is to step away by saying you have to make a phone call:

Even in today’s age of smartphones, everyone knows that if you’re at a party you can’t just whip out your phone right there, so they know you have to go off by yourself. Then you actually have to go off and look like you’re making a phone call for a second, then go to another group.

You can also excuse yourself to use the restroom, though this one tends to read more nakedly as a way to make an escape.

Option #3: Say there’s someone you’re supposed to meet.

Another strategy Martinet shared goes like this:

You find a pause hopefully to interrupt, and you say, ‘I’m so sorry, but someone just walked in the room that I’m supposed to talk to because my boss made me or my girlfriend said I had to,’ or some excuse like that. So it’s like you have a mission, and you’re so sorry but you have to go.

Martinet calls this technique the “counterfeit search,” as you may only be pretending that there’s someone else at the party you’re supposed to meet (though that may legitimately be the case as well). 

Your willingness to use strategies like the counterfeit search — or the phone call excuse from option 2 — will, of course, depend on how comfortable you are with telling a white lie in the name of social grace.

Option #4: Be self-deprecating.

Hanson says you shouldn’t leave someone on their own unless you truly do need to break away to do something like catch a plane. In that circumstance, he recommends making your exit on the back of some self-deprecating pretense:

You can make it sound like you are the bore. So I would say something like:

‘Well, Brett, look, I know I’ve monopolized so much of your time this evening, and I know there are lots of other people you want to go and talk to. But maybe we’ll see each other in a few weeks’ time at that fundraiser.’

Shake hands and off we go.

Acting a little apologetic for having taken up someone’s time is a graceful way to exit without causing offense.

Option #5: Travel together to a new group.

In a situation where you are enjoying talking with someone, and just want to be able to mingle with some other people as well, you can simply say something like, “I’m going to go sit down near Mike. Come with me.” Now you can talk to your current conversation partner and Mike as well. Or the person, who has also been waiting for an excuse to break away from you, will tell you that they’re going to go hit the buffet instead. This strategy works best when the person you’re talking with, and the person you’re going to go join, are mutual friends.

In addition to these options, a couple of other easy lines to use are, “You know, I’d better check in with the host before the night is through,” (a natural, legitimate reason), and “Well, I won’t keep you any longer — I’m sure you’ve got lots of folks to say hi to” (makes your exit seem complimentary to the other person).

Parties are for mingling. So rather than getting locked into talking to the same person for the whole night, use one of these strategies to set yourself free to enjoy both the full buffet of food, and of sociality.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Each day, too, acquire something which will help you to face poverty, or death, and other ills as well. After running over a lot of different thoughts, pick out one to be digested thoroughly that day. —Seneca 

Today, we largely associate daily “devotionals” — short, reflection-spurring texts — with religious scriptures and faith-themed books which feature musings, challenges, and brief bits of inspiration for each day of the year. 

But as Seneca proves above, for millennia, devotional-type exercises have been engaged in not only for religious purposes, but for philosophical ones as well. The devotional habit is really for everyone, and is more important than ever in a time of uncertainty and existential stress.

If you’re part of a faith tradition, you probably already know of some popular devotional books to study. Below, we’ll highlight some spirit-edifying but secular devotional texts that men of every stripe may enjoy and find uplifting. 

First, however, let’s dig into why you should consider making devotional reading part of your daily routine, and how to get the most out of this practice. 

The Benefits of Daily Devotional Reading 

While the effort needed to sustain the devotional habit isn’t onerous — reading just a few pages of text for a few minutes each day — the benefits it will accrue to your life are significant: 

1. Maintains a deeper element in your life. When you were a teenager and in your twenties, perhaps you read religious and philosophical books with some frequency. Maybe you even had a daily devotional practice back then. You thought big thoughts. You pondered big questions. But then you got a real job, and got married, and had kids. And that soulful reading and reflection dropped out of your life. You started living on the surface of things, metaphorically “paycheck to paycheck,” in that your thoughts only extended to taking care of life’s basic necessities from one day to the next.

A daily devotional practice restores a more existentially profound element to your life, so that you don’t lose track of life’s deeper dimensions amidst the more mundane stresses and urgencies of day-to-day living.

2. Keeps your focus on the most important things. While we like to take a kind of “one-and-done” approach to life’s great truths — believing that once you learn and know something, you never have to think about it again — the reality is that we need constant, daily reminders of who we want to be. Daily devotionals keep your most important values at the forefront of your mind, where they can actively influence your decisions. 

3. Injects a bit of ritual into your day. The power of ritual is undeniable, especially in a chaotic world. There are a number of ways to add spirit-centering structure to your routine; a daily devotional reading is one of the most powerful. 

Some Guidelines for Your Daily Devotionals 

1. Morning is best. You can do your devotional time whenever it works for you. But, there’s a case to be made for scheduling it for the a.m.

For a lot of people, the morning starts with a handful of stressful emails or some social media/newsy doomscrolling. But given that how you start the day will influence your mindset during the rest of it, it’s hugely beneficial to kick things off with something that’s more uplifting than such mind-muddling noise.

Reading a devotional doesn’t have to be the very first thing you do after getting out of bed; if you need a shower and a cup of coffee right after rising, that’s just fine. But make it happen before getting into the real meat of your day — whether that’s before anyone is awake and the house is quiet, or in the first few minutes that you sit down to your desk for your workday (if your job allows for that sort of thing). A morning devotional practice gets your whole day off on the right foot, centering your soul before you wade into the weeds of “worldly” cares and providing edifying grist to chew on in the hours to come.

2. Write down something to think about. What’s the benefit of doing intentional morning readings if the thoughts it provokes just leave your head the minute something stressful encroaches on your day? By writing down a note or quote, you’re further cementing these insights into your consciousness, and even more so when you regularly return to your notebook/journal throughout the course of the day (to add additional thoughts/review past musings) or the next morning. 

3. Consider reading it aloud. Much poetry was intentionally written to be read aloud, and prose can benefit from oral recitation as well. Abraham Lincoln preferred this practice, observing: “When I read aloud two senses catch the idea; first, I see what I read; second, I hear it, and therefore I can remember it better.” In addition to writing it down, this is another way that powerful words can lodge themselves in your memory. 

4. Don’t fret if you miss a day. Don’t beat yourself up about missing days of devotional reading; life’s too short for that crap. Cut yourself some slack and just move on ahead the next day. 

You can find more tips for deeper spiritual study here.

10 Ideas for Daily Devotionals

Some books are specifically structured for devotional reading; that is, they’re made up of short entries, meant to be read one day at a time, often over the course of a year.

But other kinds of books, even if they’re not explicitly designed for devotional reading, can work too. Anything with short chapters or easily digestible sections that move your spirit can be used for the purpose. Essays, poetry, letter collections, even some of the great novels work well. 

Below we offer 10 recommendations of non-religious texts that can serve as worthy reflection-generating fodder for a more edifying daily routine: 

Manvotionals by Brett and Kate McKay

The second Art of Manliness book, published in 2011, is a collection of philosophy, self-improvement, and wisdom texts, ranging from Aristotle to the success books of the late 19th and early 20th centuries to the speeches and writings of Theodore Roosevelt. The myriad poems, quotes, and essays contained within — centered around 7 primary virtues — are designed to inspire men in particular to cultivate the highest ideals of character and live a truly flourishing life. You won’t always be familiar with the authors of the ideas, but you’ll always be vigorously renewed in your energy for the day’s tasks. 

Meditations on the Wisdom of Action by Kyle Eschenroeder 

In 116 short, pithy, gut-punchingly inspiring chapters, Kyle Eschenroeder expounds on the meaning of action and what it looks like in our modern world. Kyle possesses the soul of a philosopher in the body of an entrepreneur. If philosophy doesn’t lead to action — to answering the question of how to better live this thing we call life — what good is it, really? In this book, Kyle takes the best action-oriented philosophical nuggets from a wide variety of authors and luminaries and riffs on them to create his own unique set of proverbs and calls to . . . action. Supping daily from this book will continually push you to turn your abstract intentions into concrete realities. 

The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

In The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday grabs an inspiring Stoic quote for each day and adds his own ideas and questions to ponder on and use as grist for becoming a better person. It’s a great collection, though I must mention that the original sources also lend themselves quite well to daily reading: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, Letters from a Stoic by Seneca, Epictetus’ writings, etc. Regardless of the source, Stoic philosophy will leave you better prepared to meet the day, and its attendant, inevitable annoyances, with patience and perspective.  

In general, philosophy is a great fount of daily devotional reading. Ancient wisdom is often easier to digest in small chunks than en masse. 

Essays of Montaigne

Brett has called Montaigne the first blogger; it’s an astute observation about a man whose 107 essays from the late 16th century cover a range of topics from the philosophical (“On sadness,” “On the length of life,” “On prayer”) to the more practical and mundane (“On smells,” “On drunkenness”). Even within the essays, Montaigne goes from subject to subject, eventually coming back to the titled topic . . . most of the time. He displays the full range of human feeling, logic, irrationality, and hypocrisy, which is exactly what makes his essays so interesting. He’s clearly processing ideas while writing them, and going back and forth between various conclusions. You’re guaranteed to find something to think about within each chapter. The essays average about 12 pages, making them easily digestible at the pace of one per day.  

A Calendar of Wisdom by Leo Tolstoy 

While Tolstoy is deservedly most well known for his epic, door-stopping novels, his daily reader, A Calendar of Wisdom, should get some love too. Compiled over the course of about 15 years, Tolstoy heavily researched this collection of quotes, proverbs, and sayings which spans religious traditions and schools of philosophy. Though a deeply Christian man, Tolstoy understood that great ideas which resonated within the soul could come from anywhere. Organized by subject and with an entry for each day (using 3-4 quotes/sayings plus a short thought from Tolstoy), the compiler and author himself used it for a good portion of his life.

War and Peace, often listed as the greatest novel ever written, is also particularly well-suited to daily reading over the course of a year, given its 361 short chapters.

The Secrets to Power, Mastery, and Truth: The Best of William George Jordan

This anthology contains the very best personal development essays of Gilded Age writer William George Jordan. All of the chapters are short and certainly devotional in nature; they’re rich in incisive, edifying insights, including vivid metaphors that help the reader see his life through a transformative lens. The real benefit of Jordan’s work is that you can tell he was pushing back against the individualistic, get-rich attitude of his era and fought to instill in folks the less flashy, but more meaningful values of compassion, service, honesty, forgiveness, and the value of a daily fresh start. 

Walt Whitman’s Poems

Poetry, in general, is a great way to consume a bit of daily wisdom and beauty; sometimes the most transformative insights are those that waft through your mind indirectly, rather than being hammered home head-on. It can be an intimidating genre to dive into, though. Admittedly, I don’t really get most poetry, and it often leaves me feeling more confused than inspired. There are a few exceptions, in my opinion, which resonate with just about anyone: Robert Frost, Emily Dickinson, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, and most powerfully, for me, Walt Whitman. His soul-stirring poems capture the spirit and vigor of the American ideal and experience better than anything I’ve ever read, and each poem finds some line or two worth remembering and chewing on — “I contain multitudes,” “Be curious not judgmental,” “Let your soul stand cool and composed,” etc. 

The Works of Thoreau and Emerson

Thoreau and Emerson, those great American transcendentalists, are in the same vein of thought as Whitman, but with more concrete ideas and nuggets of wisdom than is to be found in the latter’s poems. Self-reliance, nature and the outdoors, self-improvement, philosophy — these themes and more abound in the pages of these great thinkers’ journals, letters, essays, and other written works. Though full of spirit and calls to transcendence, they’re never opaquely mystical nor dogmatic, and have spoken to the deepest cores of human longing and our perpetual search for meaning for the last 150+ years. Nearly all their content is suited for daily reading, but Jim Mustich, author of 1,000 Books to Read Before You Die, recommends three in particular for this devotional purpose: The Spiritual Emerson, First We Read Then We Write by the late Robert Richardson, and The Journal of Henry David Thoreau. I might also add The Daily Henry David Thoreau, compiled by biographer Laura Dassow Walls.   

Calling It a Day by Robert Larranaga

If you’re someone who struggles with being a workaholic, or perhaps, in our work-from-home era, the delicate task of balancing work time and home/spouse/kid time, Robert Larranaga’s daily meditations draw from both spiritual principles and sound business ideas in order to give readers the permission they need to put down their phone or laptop. As hard as it is for some men to admit, more work does not necessarily equate to better work. This is a book that helps to remind you of that on a daily basis. 

On the Threshold of Transformation by Richard Rohr 

Franciscan friar Richard Rohr has a number of daily meditation works (as well as a great daily email), but by far the best of the bunch is his collection aimed specifically at men. While he admits coming from a Judeo-Christian tradition, he acknowledges that there are other viewpoints and doesn’t lean solely on Christian ideas in this set of daily meditations. The first line of Day 1 really sets the tone: “At some point in time, a man needs to embark on a risky journey.” Each day, after a couple paragraphs of a virile main idea, Rohr asks a simple question that’s sure to stir up big questions and honest, if scary, reflections. This book is my favorite title on this list. 

Combine any number of these books, use them alongside a daily journaling practice, read them in communion with loved ones or friends — wherever your devotional practice takes you, may it serve to challenge, enlighten, refreshen, and inspire. 

With our archives 4,000 articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic piece each Sunday to help our newer readers discover some of the best, evergreen gems from the past. This article was originally published in November 2020.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

It’s that time of year again, when we share our top men’s gift ideas from Huckberry. It’s hard to go wrong with getting family members and friends any of these featured items, and if you need even more options, check out Huckberry’s entire holiday shop, as well as their section dedicated to stocking stuffers.

1. Uncharted Supply Co. Zeus Air. A compact, rechargeable powerhouse that every man should have in his car. It inflates tires with zero sweat and has enough juice to jump-start a full-size truck, even big 6.0L diesel engines. With a 16,000 mAh battery that doubles as a power bank, a built-in flashlight, and an intuitive interface, this is a practical gift that could really save someone’s butt in a pinch.

2. Nocs Waterproof Binoculars. Compact, rugged, and built for real use, whether that’s spotting birds, scoping deer from the stand, or watching the action from the cheap seats at the ballpark. Fully waterproof with high-quality glass, they punch way above their size. Every man needs a pair like this in his glovebox or daypack.

3. Ridge Magnetic Power Bank. A slim, grab-and-go portable charger that snaps right to your phone and disappears in your pocket. Fast charging, clean design, and Ridge’s signature durability make it a clutch piece of everyday kit. Perfect for travel days or guys who always run on 3%.

4. Flint and Tinder Rugby Sweater. A beefed-up, heritage-inspired rugby knit that feels like it could survive a scrum. Soft cotton, vintage stripes, and a weight that works from fall through spring. A handsome everyday layer for the guy who appreciates timeless style.

5. Patagonia Black Hole Travel Backpack. A streamlined, carry-on-friendly travel pack made from durable, weather-resistant fabric that will hold up on all your adventures. It gives you three ways to carry: as a backpack, shoulder bag, or duffel/briefcase. Ideal for the frequent traveler who wants maximum organization in a compact footprint.

6. Marine Layer Sherpa Pullover. Ridiculously soft, wonderfully warm, and just plain fun. Marine Layer’s sherpa pullovers feel like wearing a cozy blanket but look put-together enough for weekends out.

7. Camp Snap Screen-Free Digital Camera. A simple point-and-shoot that strips photography back to its basics — no screen, no distractions, just pure capturing-the-moment fun. Kids love it, adults secretly love it more. The perfect way to keep capturing memories without the smartphone overload.

8. Newgate Brooklyn Alarm Clock. Speaking of putting some distance between you and your screens, how about using a real alarm clock to wake up instead of your smartphone? With clean lines and bold numerals, this handsome model makes a worthy replacement for your digital device. Tell the time without getting sucked into scrolling at night or diving into notifications as soon as you get out of bed in the morning.

9. Huckberry x Timex Ironman Flix. Timex revived its legendary ’90s Ironman Flix with Huckberry, bringing back the motion-activated Indiglo glow that every kid wished they had. Lightweight, tough, and nostalgia-packed, it’s the kind of watch that sparks a grin every time you raise your wrist.

10. Pendleton Grand Canyon National Park Blanket. Pendleton’s National Park blankets are heirloom-level gifts, and this one channels the warm palette of the Grand Canyon at dusk. Thick, soft wool and classic Pendleton craftsmanship will make it a fireside favorite for decades. The rare gift that feels meaningful the moment it’s unwrapped.

11. Patagonia Black Hole Waist Pack. Part fanny pack, part minimalist daypack, this thing holds keys, snacks, sunglasses, gloves, and whatever else you toss at it. The tough, weather-resistant fabric gives it durability without bulk. Great for travel, hikes, or any guy who hates bulging pockets.

12. Adler Rheinland Hatchet. A German-forged hatchet designed for camp chores, splitting kindling, and heroic backyard fire-building. The polished head, hickory handle, and classic profile make it equal parts tool and showpiece.

13. Bellroy Toiletry Kit. A smart, hang-anywhere dopp kit that keeps grooming gear organized instead of exploding all over the hotel sink. Multiple mesh pockets, water-resistant materials, and understated Bellroy styling make it an instant travel upgrade. Perfect for the frequent flyer or the guy who showers at the gym.

14. Benchmade Bugout Pocket Knife. A lightweight but ultra-capable everyday carry knife with Benchmade’s signature smooth action. The rust-orange scales give it a bright, trail-ready vibe without adding weight. A rock-solid EDC upgrade for the man who appreciates precision tools.

15. Toyo Steel Cantilever Toolbox. A classic Japanese steel toolbox that’s as sturdy as the gear you stash inside. The cantilever design fans open so you can see everything at a glance, and the all-steel construction means it’ll likely outlast every tool it holds. A perfect upgrade for the dad still using a plastic box from 1998.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Note: This is a rebroadcast.

It’s a tough job to manage a household. Things need to be regularly fixed, maintained, and cleaned. How do you stay on top of these tasks in order to keep your home in tip-top shape?

My guest knows his way all around this issue and has some field-tested, insider advice to offer. Charles MacPherson spent two decades as the major-domo or chief butler of a grand household. He’s also the founder of North America’s only registered school for butlers and household managers and the author of several books drawn from his butlering experience, including The Butler Speaks: A Return to Proper Etiquette, Stylish Entertaining, and the Art of Good Housekeeping.

In the first part of our conversation, Charles charts the history of domestic service and describes why the practice of having servants like a butler and maid ebbed in the mid-20th century but has made a comeback today. We then turn to what average folks who don’t have a household staff can do to better manage their homes. Charles recommends keeping something called a “butler’s book” to stay on top of household schedules and maintenance checklists. We then discuss how to clean your home more logically and efficiently. Charles shares his golden rules of house cleaning, the cleaning task you’ve probably neglected (hint: go take a look at the side of the door on your dishwasher), his surprising choice for the best product to use to clean your shower, how often you should change your bedsheets, and much more.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoM Article: How to Establish a Simple Cleaning Routine and Stick to It
• AoM Article: How to Clean Your Entire House in 30 Minutes
• AoM Article: How to Clean Like a Man
• AoM Article: Keep Your House in Tip-Top Shape — An Incredibly Handy Home Maintenance Checklist
• AoM Article The Butler’s Book: How to Create the Instruction Manual For Your Home
• AoM Article: Towards a Philosophy of Household Management
• The Book of Household Management by Isabella Beeton

Connect With Charles MacPherson

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

When it goes well, cultural evolution works like biological evolution: the strongest things survive, while flaws, weaknesses, and superfluities disappear.

Unfortunately, the progression of culture doesn’t follow such a linear arc. Sometimes the societal pendulum swings simply because of boredom; technological innovations push current practices into obsolescence before we’ve considered what might be lost without them; new traditions seem superior to the old, until they don’t — and by then they’ve faded beyond return.

Inspired by ideas in Let’s Bring Back, Going, Going, Gone, my conversation with Walker Lamond about his book Rules for My Unborn Son, and simply our own observations about what’s lacking in modern life, below we present 57 things that have gone extinct or been waning that would be worth reviving.

These entries haven’t been chosen based on pure nostalgia, nor the viability of their comebacks — many have a poor chance of resurrection indeed. Rather these are simply things that it would genuinely be nice to see revived, and in many cases wouldn’t need to supplant culture’s current offerings, but could co-exist as happy supplements alongside them — additions that would make for richer and more varied lives. Even if they may never make it back into the societal mainstream, they could be worth adopting into your individual life, family’s culture, and local community.

57 Things We Should Bring Back

Soda Fountains

The soda fountain once served as a communal watering hole for teenagers and teetotalers. You could hang out at the bar while a soda jerk made you an egg cream or a “black and white.” Couples could sip a single milkshake through two straws. In an age where fewer people are drinking alcohol, the soda fountain just might be the third space we need again.

Wearing a Watch

Most of us don’t need a watch to tell time anymore — we’ve got phones for that — but it’s still one of the handiest things you can put on in the morning. Checking the time on your wrist is easier to do than fishing a phone out of your pocket, and makes for less of a disruption when you’re interacting with others. A watch is also one of the few accessories at a man’s disposal, and adds a touch of style and interest to your get-up. It’s a wearable bit of personality.

Sending Postcards

As much as we’ve long been advocates for handwritten letters, it seems the ship for mailed correspondence has largely sailed. If you’re close enough to someone to want to share the news of your life, neither of you likely wants to have week-long delays in discussing it. And even those who might appreciate a letter probably won’t write back, defeating the point of true correspondence. But there are a couple forms of snail mail still well-suited to our time. One is the thank you note (see below); the other is the postcard. For the postcard writer, sending one is fun and takes minimal effort. For the postcard receiver, finding one among their usual junk mail is a delight. So is the fact there’s no pressure to reply — it’s meant to be a one-way hello.

Attention Spans

Thanks to short form video and social media dopamine hits, the ability to sit with a book, focus on a task, or listen to another person has steadily atrophied. But real insight, quality work, and deep connection only come when we give something our dialed-in, undivided attention.

Dancing

Dancing is one of those activities humans have been doing for thousands of years, and up until a half century ago, it was one of the most common social pastimes. Today, adults may only dance once in a blue moon at weddings, and young people only get their groove on at homecoming and prom. The decline of dancing is particularly impoverishing for youth, as it teaches important interpersonal skills: how to weather rejection, read cues, move with another person without stepping on them, make small talk, be physically close to someone without being or feeling awkward about it — how to be more human, really.

Progressive/Walking Dinners

Progressive dinners — where each course is served at a different house — used to be a staple of neighborhood life. You’d get an appetizer at one person’s place, the main entree at another, and dessert somewhere down the street. By the end of the night, you were full, but more importantly, you knew your neighbors a little better and your street felt a little more like home.

Acquaintances

Words should mean something. Some, like “friend,” should practically be sacred. Unfortunately, friend has been bastardized by influencers who use it to describe their followers, by companies that cheerily apply it to anonymous customers, and by people who use the label for someone they say hello to in passing at church, a neighbor they borrowed a ladder from once, or the parent of their kid’s classmate they’ve only chatted with at school pickup. In regards to those latter situations, we do actually have a word for people you know, but not very well: it’s not friend, it’s acquaintance.

Real, Kitschy Christmas Trees

A lot of Christmas trees these days look like they were assembled for an Instagram post instead of a living room: artificial tree, matching lights, uniform ornaments. Christmas trees used to be a lot more wonderfully chaotic. You’d have handmade ornaments your children crafted in grade school and bubbler lights mixed with popcorn garland. Nothing was coordinated, nothing was curated, and somehow that made the whole thing feel more like Christmas. Bring back real trees with a hodgepodge of ornaments and plenty of tinsel. Bring back the kitsch!

Eating Sardines

Sardines used to be a grandpa staple. He’d pop open a tin, splash on a little hot sauce, and lunch was served. Well, grandpa was on to something. Sardines are convenient, full of protein, and packed with omega-3s (without the heavy metals you find in tuna and other big fish). Plus, they’re inexpensive and last a very long time. Puts hair on your chest, too!

Writing Things By Hand

In a time when most communication is typed and tapped, there aren’t many occasions that necessitate writing things out by hand. But it’s worth intentionally doing so sometimes — whether in the form of journal entries or notes — as putting pen to paper improves memory, boosts focus, enhances creativity, and strengthens learning and comprehension. It feels like a different cognitive experience and can lend a different angle to the expression of your thoughts. Plus, handwriting injects more idiosyncratic, connection-fostering personality into your missives.

Carrying Cash

Most people now walk around with nothing but a debit or credit card and the hope that every situation in life comes with a chip reader. But there are times and places where cash still comes in handy: a high school basketball game, the bait shop in the middle of nowhere, the after-hours campground fee box, the valet who deserves more than a muttered thank you. A few bills folded in your wallet is one of those small, old-school habits that still comes in clutch.

Hobbies

Hobbies used to be thought of as an essential component of a balanced and fulfilling life; they represented a commitment to lifelong learning and an outlet for the intellectual, creative, and self-reliant energies that didn’t get expressed in your day job. Tinkering with electronics, building model planes, messing around on the guitar — you did such things out of genuine interest and purely for personal enjoyment. Now people can’t allow themselves a pastime when they feel they should be doing something more productive, default to lower-effort entertainments, or turn what could have been a hobby into a side hustle or a performative stunt for short-form video. But a hobby done for its own sake — not for income or influence — is one of the rare ways you can lose yourself in something and come out feeling more like yourself. Click here to check out 75+ hobby ideas for men.

Farmers’ Almanac

After a 207-year run, the annual Farmers’ Almanac will cease production in 2026. But here’s hoping for a comeback. It’s been a perennial, charming source of wisdom on everything from the odds of a white Christmas to the best time to plant your turnips. Even if it doesn’t return, you can still get your almanac fix with The Old Farmer’s Almanac, which, for now, continues on.

Reading Poetry

The rates of reading have fallen in general, and surely some genres of literature have been hit harder than others. That definitely includes poetry. Poems certainly don’t lend themselves to our short-attention-span, easy-to-scan culture; they don’t follow a familiar format and aren’t always understandable on first blush. But that’s exactly what makes them worthwhile. They stretch our brains to think in different ways and help us reconnect with emotional and existential nuances with which we’d otherwise lose touch. Here are 20 classic poems every man should read.

Cracking Whole Nuts

From the Victorian era through the mid-20th century, it was common for hosts to offer guests a big, aesthetically pleasing bowl of whole nuts, along with nutcrackers and picks to extract their goodies. Cracking nuts around the fire or at holiday gatherings was part of the slow, social rhythm of the winter season. With the rise of pre-shelled nuts, this tradition has fallen out of favor. But nut-cracking is fun, and the fact that it takes a little effort probably makes it the most appropriate way to eat these calorie bombs — not by the pre-shelled handful, but by the well-earned niblet.

Boutonnieres

There are only a few ways to accessorize a suit. A lapel pin. A pocket square. And a once-popular but now forgotten (and worth reviving) option: a boutonniere. Most men only wear a flower in their button-hole at prom or their wedding. But you can wear a boutonniere on any occasion where you’re wearing a suit — and are feeling confident enough to make a unique style statement.

Bookplates

Bookplates — small, personalized labels pasted inside the cover of a book — were once a mark of ownership and pride. They signified that a book belonged to you and reminded borrowers who to return it to. Their bespoke designs and mottoes added individual character and expression to a personal library, giving a sense of recognizable identity to one’s collection.

Sleeping Porches

Sleeping porches were once a common feature of American homes in the early 20th century. These screened-in or open-air porches — usually on the second floor of a home — were used for sleeping during warmer months before air conditioning was common. They provided a cool, breezy place to rest on hot nights and were popular for both comfort and health reasons, as fresh air was believed to improve well-being. Jack London used his constantly. They’d still be a welcome place for a summertime slumber.

Barbershop Shaves

The barbershop razor shave is the facial for manly men. Nothing beats a hot towel on your face or the fragrance of shaving cream to sap the stress right out of your body. It’s also a little dangerous: letting another man hold a razor sharp piece of metal to your neck reminds you that you’re alive.

Eccentricity

There’s lots of evidence that people, on the whole, are getting less weird. Less deviant, less creative, less inclined to divert from the standard societal lockstep. It seems like we have less eccentrics than we used to — those oddballs who dressed differently, read strange books, and didn’t care if anyone understood them. Algorithms have flattened the culture, nudging us toward the same tastes and the same safe personalities. A little harmless oddity reminds us there are other ways to be human.

Dressing Up for Special Occasions

In a world that’s become blandly casual, dressing up for special occasions like weddings, parties, and nice restaurants gives life a little more texture. It makes an event not only feel more special for you, but, by contributing to the overall atmosphere, more special for others as well. Dressing up is an act of service.

Paper Maps

GPS may be efficient and convenient, but paper maps force you to really understand where you are and where you’re going. You spread one out on the hood of the car, trace a route with your finger, and suddenly the whole landscape makes sense. They don’t buffer, they don’t die at 3%, and they don’t reroute you into a lake. A good map turns getting somewhere into a small adventure instead of another task handed over to an order-barking algorithm.

Door-to-Door Knife Sharpeners

You’ve heard of door-to-door salesmen, but did you know there used to be door-to-door knife sharpeners? While the former were annoying, I feel like I would have welcomed the latter. A guy with a whetstone would knock on your door, take your dull blades, hone them on the spot, and hand them back to you all sharpened up. It’s a perfect service, because who can remember to sharpen their knives? And if you do, who wants to schlep them over to a shop? While house-call-making knife sharpeners have mostly disappeared, they might be making a comeback; I’ve employed a young man here in Tulsa who runs a mobile sharpening service, and it’s awesome!

Secrets

In an age of constant sharing and digital transparency, the idea of keeping something to yourself can feel almost subversive. But complete transparency is not an unalloyed positive, and secrets aren’t necessarily sinister — they’re essential for cultivating intimacy, mystery, and personal depth. Having a secret handshake, a private tradition, or something only you and one other person knows creates a special kind of bond. Secrets give weight to trust and texture to relationships. Not everything needs to be broadcast; sometimes the most meaningful things are the ones held closest to the chest.

Penmanship

If we’re going to bring back writing things by hand, it’s worth writing them nicely. Because we’re out of practice these days, our handwriting tends to be sloppy. But good penmanship has value: it makes your writing legible and aesthetically pleasing, and it’s simply satisfying to produce. It’s particularly rewarding to master cursive — a skill that’s especially endangered, not only in regards to writing it but even reading it.

Real Dates

Much of coed socializing these days takes the form of hanging out in groups, and even when people start going out more exclusively, their encounters may not rise above Netflix and chill. Real dates — those that follow the three P’s: planned, paired off, and paid for — would restore more intentionality to relationships. They signal commitment, effort, and respect, and they raise the stakes just enough to make the interaction meaningful. Real dates, centered on actual activities, teach you how to think ahead and make a little magic happen — skills that are foundational not just to romance, but to maturity.

Typewriters

Unlike the silent typing you do on a laptop, typewriters give your thoughts and writing a tactile, mechanical heft. You can hear and feel your sentences as you hammer them out on the keys. There’s no backspace and no instant revisions, so you’ve really got to think through what you want to write before you dive into the clickety-clack.

Bridge Nights

At the peak of their popularity in the mid-20th century, bridge nights were sometimes held multiple evenings a week. They were a staple of adult life, a communal pastime where friends and couples gathered around a card table to play, snack, laugh, and talk. The game gave people a reason to get together on the regular. In a world that’s feeling more fragmented and lonely, we could use more evenings like that — low-key, face-to-face, and anchored by something as simple as a shared deck of cards. We could also simply use more adults prioritizing having their own social life, rather than completely surrendering to their kids’ extracurriculars.

Landlines

While landlines used to be ubiquitous, now only a quarter of households still have one. Cellular phones have routed them from the field. But landlines still offer some benefits: they’re easy for kids to use in an emergency, the connection is consistently clear, and sharing a single phone requires the household to function as a unit — taking messages, relaying information, and so on.

Record Players + Vinyl Records

In a world of endless, algorithmically curated streaming playlists, listening to music on a record player makes music listening feel like an event, not just background hum. The friction of having to pick out a record and delicately putting the needle on the vinyl slows things down and makes you appreciate what you’re listening to.

Valet Chairs

The valet chair (also called a butler’s chair) used to be a staple in a man’s bedroom. A chair that often included a hanger-style backrest, trouser bar, small tray for cufflinks or a watch, and even a hidden compartment or drawer, it gave your jacket, trousers, and pocket contents a proper landing zone so they didn’t end up scattered around your room or in a sad heap on the floor. It’s the perfect place to drape clothes that you’ve already worn but can wear again before washing, and it lends greater order to your daily routine.

Singing Around the Piano

If you watch old movies, you’ll often encounter a recurring scene: people gathered around a piano, belting out some tunes. That actually happened in real life. When you didn’t have Spotify, you had to make your own music. Even in an age where we can stream any song on demand, there’s something incomparably fun, joyful, and connective about singing with other people. Of course, if we’re going to bring back singing around the piano, we’re going to need more skilled pianists among us, which means we’ll also need to revive the tradition of kids taking (and sticking with) piano lessons.

Colorful Insults

Modern insults are pretty boring — mostly the same set of expletive-laden put-downs. The 19th century did it better. Their insults had personality. They were clever. An unmannered youth might be called an “unlicked cub,” a lazy person a “slug-a-bed,” and a habitual complainer a “grumbletonian.” Here are 50 more colorful old-fashioned insults worth bringing back.

Drive-In Movies

At the peak of their popularity, 4,000 drive-in theaters operated across the country; today, only 300-400 remain. But they perhaps have more to recommend them these days than ever before; in a time where it’s hard to justify the cost of going to a standard movie theater, given how cheap and comparably immersive home viewing can be, the drive-in offers a truly different, and affordable, experience. You get to pack the whole family, along with as many snacks as you’d like, into the car for a distinctive indoor/outdoor night out.

Knowing Latin

Knowing a little Latin used to be a basic part of being educated — not because anyone expected you to converse in it, but because it opened you up to the ideas that built the Western world. Even building a small Latin vocabulary — mottos, legal phrases, liturgical language — gives you a sense of where our words came from and why they mean what they mean. It also makes reading old books more enjoyable, since authors often liked to casually drop Latin into their prose.

Safety Razor Shaving

Shaving with a safety razor turns a routine grooming task into a ritual. You have to make deliberate strokes instead of mindlessly scraping your skin with a plastic contraption; it’s rather meditative. And there are practical benefits: the resulting shave is closer and cleaner, and you save money and waste by not having to constantly buy and toss disposable razors.

Hosting and Entertaining in Your Home

In the 1970s, most households had friends over at least once a month. Since then, that kind of at-home socializing — dinners, game nights, parties — has fallen by more than half. Somewhere along the way, we got out of practice with hospitality, decided it required an unattainable standard of perfect lighting and gourmet food, got less comfortable with the intimacy of having people over, and succumbed to the inertia that eschews any fun that requires effort. But hosting something like a dinner party is a skill you can get good at with practice, brings people closer than any kind of outsourced entertainment can, and adds real zing and satisfaction to life.

Kids Playing Outside

Listen as you drive through most neighborhoods in America these days, and you might notice something missing: the shrieks and laughter of kids playing outside. It used to be you couldn’t walk down the block without dodging a game of kickball, stepping over a jumprope, or seeing a pack of bikes dumped in someone’s yard (plus a DIY bike ramp in the driveway). Now most of the action happens indoors and behind a screen. There are few things that would be better for today’s children than turning this dynamic around; outdoor play encourages kids to be independent, engage in health-promoting physical movement, and take competence and confidence-building risks.  

Roasting Chestnuts on an Open Fire

Roasting chestnuts enjoyed robust popularity until a blight in the early 20th century wiped out billions of American chestnut trees, making the nuts far less available. While the trees have only made a partial return, because imported chestnuts are readily available, the practice of eating them — particularly when roasted over an open fire — is primed for a comeback. Finally bring that line in “The Christmas Song” to life. The crackle, the smell, the slow business of peeling them while they’re still steaming — it all makes for a ritual that adds some memorable texture to the holiday.

Getting Married at Home

Up through the mid-1800s, the majority of weddings took place at the bride’s home rather than a church or another location. There were no sophisticated venues, no event coordinators, no anxiety about whether the flowers were Instagram-worthy. The practice was still fairly common up through the early 20th century — until weddings became increasingly elaborate and grandiose. An at-home wedding could re-root the institution, provide an appropriately homey and intimate setting for a ritual that joins lives — and families — together, and, of course, be a whole lot cheaper.

Physical Photo Albums

Most of us take photos on our phone. And that’s where those pictures usually stay — in an overwhelming, unwieldy archive perhaps thousands of photos deep. The lack of easy browsability makes it rare for us to go back and look at them. A physical photo album fixes that. Filled only with the best, intentionally curated shots, it invites you to pick it up, flip through its pages, and travel back in time.

Neckties

Neckties aren’t expected in many situations anymore — but that’s exactly what makes them meaningful. Wearing one signals intention, care, and the willingness to rise above the bare minimum. A tie is a chance to add some flair to a standard suit. It shows that you acknowledge that an occasion calls for formality. It’s a small gesture that says: this matters.

Reading Aloud to Kids

The number of parents who read aloud to their children has been dropping for decades. That’s a loss for everyone. Reading books aloud is one of the best ways to connect with your kid and increase their affinity for literature. It becomes a comforting family ritual that they’ll look back on fondly for the rest of their lives.

Sleeping With the Windows Open

Even if you don’t have a sleeping porch, you can get the benefits of a fresh-air sleep by slumbering with the windows open. In a time without A/C, when people thought well-circulated air warded off disease, doing so was the default. There are still reasons to crack open a window when you go to bed today. It does reduce the risk of respiratory illnesses, and when the air is cool, it drops your core temperature, helping you fall asleep faster. Fresh air also, in an unquantifiable way, simply makes your sleep feel more refreshing.

Love Letters

As handwritten correspondence has declined, it seems that penning any kind of note — even the kind you leave on a nightstand instead of mailing — has too. That includes love letters. We’ve traded the convenience of communicative immediacy for occasionally writing out something more meaningful and heartfelt. But none of those “Love you!” texts will end up in a shoebox or get reread when you’re old. A proper love letter gives you the chance to express your feelings more ardently than you do on a day-to-day basis and is a surefire way to rekindle the sparks of romance.

Tailoring

Having your clothes tailored used to be standard practice. Nobody expected a jacket or pair of trousers to fit straight off the rack. You’d take them in, get measured, and end up with a set of superior duds. The difference tailoring makes is surprisingly striking; garments look significantly sharper when they’ve been altered to fit your unique body. Sure, in an era of athleisure there are far fewer clothes that even can be tailored, but those that remain could benefit from a little snipping and stitching.

Ghost-Hunting

Kids seem a lot more literal-minded and less imaginative today. Perhaps it’s the way the internet presents the idea that every question has been solved and every rock looked under, but they don’t seem to consider the possibility of the unknown and the invisible — that there might be mythic creatures or supernatural beings — as much. Certainly when I was growing up, Scholastic’s book catalogs were filled with scary stories and how-to manuals for hunting ghosts. And dares like “Bloody Mary” were more of a thing. Wondering if there might be ghosts around makes life feel more mysterious and compelling for kids. And for adults too, really.

Stretch Limos

There was a time when riding in a stretch limo — not those gaudy Humvee limos with disco lights you see these days — made you feel like an absolute baller. ’80s limos had a vibe straight out of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, even if your destination was the high school prom or the reception after the wedding. You could call up the driver from the phone in the back and ask him to whisk you away to wherever you pleased, make drinks in the bar, and enjoy the ride in style. We could use more things that make ordinary people and ordinary nights feel unforgettable.

Film Cameras

Digital cameras may win on convenience, but film cameras have benefits of their own. Since every click costs you, you’re more discerning about when to break your immersion in a moment to put a lens to your eye. You get the craftsman-like satisfaction of fiddling with the camera’s settings and knowing that the final result depends on your skill. And you enjoy the anticipation of not knowing how a photo turned out until the roll gets developed — and the surprise of opening the envelope of prints, seeing the ones that really hit, and chuckling at the mess-ups.

Handwritten Thank You Notes

A handwritten thank you note is one of the easiest ways to stand out in a world where most expressions of gratitude get reduced to a quick email or text. They only take a few minutes to write, but can make someone’s day. And because hardly anyone sends them anymore, the person on the receiving end will be disproportionately touched.  

Audio-Only Phone Calls

Everyone wants to talk over video these days, but there’s something undeniably awkward about those interactions: you’re often distracted by looking at yourself, and the feeling that you are — but aren’t — making real eye contact registers as off deep in the brain. Audio-only calls elevate the intimacy of a conversation above texting, without the weirdness of video. There’s something comforting and connective about just listening to someone’s voice.

Mumbley Peg

Mumbley peg was once a staple of boyhood. It’s a game that just required a pocketknife, a patch of dirt, and the ability to make said pocketknife stick in the ground with a bit of flair. Cowboys played it around campfires, soldiers played it between marches, and schoolboys played it at recess until risk-averse adults started shutting it down in the 1970s. It remains the perfect mildly dangerous game to while away the time.

Doctors in Doctor’s Coats

Doctors used to wear crisp white coats (and nurses had distinct get-ups as well). These days, most make the rounds in scrubs and Skechers. A tailored, distinguished uniform lent the medical profession a sense of dignity and gravitas — an authority that comforted patients, especially when discussing the weighty matters of health, or even life and death.

Giving Flowers With Meaning

Before the era of picking up a grocery-store bouquet and calling it good, men used to pick out arrangements for their lady loves very deliberately; each chosen flower had a special meaning and carried a message. A rose for love, a lily for devotion, a sprig of rosemary for remembrance, etc. The giver enjoyed creating the floral cipher and the recipient enjoyed (and probably sometimes felt a little anxious!) decoding it. If you’re going to say it with flowers, you ought to be really saying something.

Wood-Burning Fireplaces

Most fireplaces now run on gas. Flip a switch and you get some instant heat and ambiance. It’s convenient, for sure, but it’s not the same. Building a wood fire takes time and a little know-how, and there’s real satisfaction in getting the logs stacked just right and coaxing the first spark into a steady blaze. The smell of smoke, the crackle of the wood, the pleasure of giving the embers a poke — you can’t get any of that from a gas line.

Trunks in Attics

Every attic used to have at least one old, dusty trunk. Cracking one open was like stepping into someone else’s story. You could smell the memories. And you never knew what you might find: an old uniform, a box of medals, yellowed letters — and definitely, definitely a map to buried treasure.

The Civilian Conservation Corps

In our time of extreme partisan divide, could there possibly be two things all Americans might agree on? 1) The National Park system is awesome, and 2) The Civilian Conservation Corps ought to be brought back. During the 1930s, when jobs were scarce and the country needed a lift, the CCC put young men to work — not only in national parks, but in state parks and farmlands as well. The corps planted billions of trees, built trails and lodges, and fought soil erosion, all while learning the satisfaction of hard outdoor work, building friendships, and gaining a sense of purpose. Widespread national service, focused on improving not just our wild spaces but our crumbling urban infrastructure, might be just the thing our country needs again.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Card games have been around for a long time. They’ve existed in various forms for a millennium, having been invented in the Far East. From there, they came West with trading, and in the 1400s the French solidified the 52-card deck and the four suits — spades, clubs, hearts, and diamonds — that we use today. While different cultures and nations use different sets of cards, that system is the most widely used around the world. For literally centuries now, friends, families, and strangers have convened around bar tops, campfires, and dining room tables to play friendly and perhaps not-so-friendly games of cards.

The Appeal (and Manliness) of Card Games

What is it that makes card games so appealing, and why have they found such a particularly prominent place in the culture of men?

Portability. Rather than having to cart around a game board and various easily-lost pieces, a deck of cards can readily fit into a pocket or other small space. This is one reason they’ve long been popular with sailors and soldiers (as well as travelers and adventurers of all kinds); they can easily be thrown in a pack or seabag and cracked open on the frontlines or the bunk of a submarine.

Speed. Board games often require lengthy set-ups, and games can take a long time. It’s easily forgotten where one is at in the game if a break is needed. Card games, on the other hand, just need a shuffle, and you can play almost anything imaginable. And most games, even long ones, have natural breaks at the end of a hand or deal. You can just as easily play for a few minutes or a few hours.

Extra man points if you can identify the fella putting down the card.

Adaptability and informality. Most card games are folk games, with rules being passed on and changed from generation to generation (which is what makes tracing each game’s specific history particularly difficult!). Every family and even region has its own set of rules they prefer, and those rules can continue to evolve based on what’s most enjoyable for the folks playing it. Most games can also be scaled up or down on the challenge level to incorporate kids and expert players alike.

Balance of chance and skill. Games scholar David Parlett writes: “A major attraction of card games is that they are in general neither wholly mindless, like most dice games, nor excessively cerebral, like Chess, but offer a reasonable balance of chance and skill. The actual balance varies from game to game, enabling well-informed players to select from the vast repertoire of card games the one or two best suited to their tastes and talents.” Even though players don’t have control over the chance aspects of games, in times past, a man who had a streak of luck in cards was considered favored by the gods, which enhanced his honor.

Manly competition. It is has often been noted that men’s games are symbolic representations of their more violent clashes in fighting and war. This is as true of something like football as it is of card games. When anthropologist Michael Herzfeld lived among the tough, rugged shepherds of a remote, mountainous region of Crete, he observed that their daily card games were a “medium for the expression of contest in emblematic form.” He writes:

“Contests they most certainly are. One of my most frequent card playing companies would announce, ‘Let’s clash lances [na kondarokhtipisomene]!’ Card games are often described as ‘struggling,’ and valiant opponents as pallikaria (‘fine young men’). Some basis of opposition beyond that of a friendly game is usually sought; when two kinsmen of different generations were matched against each other, even though they were fairly close in age, an onlooker jocularly justified the whole situation by announcing that it was a contest between the old and the young. Almost every move is made with aggressive gestures, especially by the striking of the knuckles against the table as each card is flung down.”

This echo of the basic quest for manhood and honor, the requirement of strategy, and the element of risk and reward, “lends spice to what would otherwise be a daily repetitive activity.”

Ease and enjoyment of conversation. Card games facilitate easy, no-pressure conversation; if someone has something to say, they can say it; otherwise, people can just concentrate on the gameplay. Especially when all the participants are men, jokes and insults are traded and contribute to the unique sense of male camaraderie that can emerge around card playing. As Herzfeld notes, while other male activities like hunting or war “require swift and often silent action . . . the card game provides a forum for skill in that other area of demonstrative masculinity, clever talk. The rules of the games themselves are fixed, and therefore of relatively little interest . . . But the conversational gambits, well-timed gestures, and of course the flamboyant triumph of the winners are all legitimate themes in male interaction.”

Element of mystery. Generally in board games, every player is aware of the possible moves of every other player. You roll a die, and everyone else can see what’s going on and if a player is close to winning. With cards, the only thing the other players see is the uniform back of what you’ve been dealt. There’s a fun air of mystery knowing that on your next turn you can go out, and nobody else is the wiser until the moment you exultantly drop your cards on the table.

6 Card Games Every Man Should Know

For the reasons above, and the rich history of cards — you can play the same game your grandparents and great-grandparents played, and of course folks well before them! — every man should know a handful of games. The 6 below are a set particularly worth learning, for reasons of both popularity and intrinsic value; they are games that you’re likely to be invited to play by others, and if you aren’t, you should consider asking others to play them, because they’re so enjoyable!

Note: A couple of those listed feature one specific type of a broader category of games (e.g., gin rummy is just one of many types of rummy that can be played). But the general principles of that particular “subgenre” will give you a good idea of how that broader category of game is played.

1. Gin Rummy

Gin rummy was popular in Hollywood; here co-stars Joan Fontaine and Louis Jourdan play in between shooting scenes for Letter From An Unknown Woman.

Rummy, as a broader category of card games, revolves around gameplay in which participants try to make sets, or melds (in card playing parlance) — generally either 3 (or more) of the same number/rank, or 3 (or more) suited cards in sequence (a run). It’s also a “draw and discard” game, in which players draw a card from either an undealt or discard pile, and throw out an unwanted card as well. When all a player’s cards are part of a meld (or as many as are needed based on the variation), they go out, and get points based on what the remaining players have in their hand. Generally, you’ll play to a set point number, often 100.

Games scholars believe that rummy was originally a card variation on the Chinese tile game mah-jong, and came into being perhaps as early as the 1700s. Through many cultural and regional iterations, gin rummy, as the folk tale goes, was created in 1909 by whist (another card game) teacher Elwood Baker and his son, Charles Baker (who went on to become a renowned screenwriter). It’s thought that they invented the variation as a faster version of standard rummy. The history of gin is hard to suss out, though, since it didn’t really become popular until the 1930s (as with many card games in the US), when the Great Depression forced families to entertain themselves at home. It’s an easier game to learn than bridge, and more family-friendly than something like poker.

Gin rummy then took off in Hollywood and became immensely popular on movie, TV, and Broadway sets as an easy game, with a better reputation than poker, that could be played in dressing rooms and picked up and left off between shoots. In the late 1930s and 1940s you’ll find references to gin and “gin sharks” in numerous films, shows, and plays.

From there, its place in American leisure and game-playing was cemented, and today it’s often a game the whole family knows and plays, particularly when visiting with grandparents.

Click here to learn the rules of gin rummy.

2. Hearts

The game of hearts falls into the trick-taking category of card games, originally stemming from whist. Rather than wanting to take tricks though, hearts is unique in that you want to avoid collecting tricks, depending on the cards in the pile; hearts are bad, as is the notorious queen of spades (also known as “Calamity Jane” or the “Black Lady” in the game). It’s usually played to 100 points, but the person who gets to 100 is actually the loser, and the person with the lowest points the winner (hearts being a point each, and the queen of spades being 13 points).

Hearts first appeared in the US in the late 1800s, but has origins going to back to a 1600s French game called “reversis.” Like the modern hearts, the goal was to avoid taking tricks that had certain cards in them. While one hindrance to playing hearts is that the modern version requires 4 players to get a game going (though it can be played with more or less, with rule changes), it still enjoyed pockets of great popularity in the 20th century, especially among college students.

The game was then given new life at the end of the millennium when Microsoft Windows included it as a built-in game in their operating systems starting in the 1990s. You had three players provided for you, and could pick up a game anytime you wanted. This was how I learned the game, actually. Practice and learn on a computer or on your phone, then find three friends to play with. It will be far more interesting than staring down Pauline, Michele, and Ben (the default opponents in early Windows versions).  

Click here to learn the rules of hearts.

3. Poker (Texas Hold ‘Em)

Poker is a quintessentially American card game. What makes it unique from any of its antecedents is specifically the betting factor. While the gameplay is reminiscent of some other world games (and also just card-playing in general), the structure of betting sets it apart from anything that came before.

It’s possible that the game originated in 1820s New Orleans on Mississippi River gambling boats. From there, poker spread north along the river, and West along with the Gold Rush, becoming an important part of cowboy lore. When the dirty and tired men were done breaking horses or driving cattle for the day, and needed some entertainment around the campfire, poker became the go-to diversion. It involved skill, luck, and bit more friendly competition than many other card games. Betting — even with just pennies or matchsticks — naturally upped the ante.

Various ranking systems and variations of game play also spread through the country (and eventually around the world), but poker really took off in the late 1980s when Congress passed the Indian Gaming Regulatory Act, which legalized casinos on Native American land. Prior to that, gambling in all forms was far more regulated. Different regions had different popular variations, but Texas Hold ‘Em came to be the most played version in the Western US. In the 2000s, when ESPN began televising the World Series of Poker, and online gameplay took off, Texas Hold ‘Em became the dominant poker game around the world.

What makes poker great is that it retains a very competitive spirit even while playing for low stakes, and it can be scaled up or down depending on the proclivities of the group. You can play for $.05 or $5 or $5,000 or $500,000. Or for Chips Ahoy cookies. It’s also an ideal card game for a large gathering. Have a bachelor party to plan? Or a birthday shindig? Or a weekend guys night while ladies go paint and sip wine? A game of Texas Hold ‘Em in the garage or basement is perfect. To get you started, here’s a primer on the game, and here’s how to host a poker night.

4. Solitaire

Solitaire, as a group of games played primarily by oneself, was first developed in the mid-1700s, and first appeared codified in writing in the late 1700s. Unlike the other specific games in this article, I’m listing it here as the broad category. Why? For the simple reason that it’s likely everyone already has a preferred version of the game! (Mine is a variation of Kings in the Corners solitaire that I learned from my dad.)

Solitaire was actually first played with multiple people, either by taking turns making moves, or by each person playing with their own deck and seeing who would “win” first. It’s likely that the version played truly alone against just the deck itself came about by people practicing for the multiplayer variety. Soon, innumerable versions of solitaire came about, as any player could really make any set of rules they desired. It’s said that Napoleon played when he was exiled, and although a number of versions of solitaire are named after him, this rumor is likely just that.

As with hearts, solitaire really exploded along with the personal computer. No need to shuffle the deck yourself every time. Klondike, FreeCell, and Spider became the most popular (at least on computers), as those were stocked on most machines back in the 90s. Today, you can download apps that offer hundreds of versions of solitaire.

Try some out (you can peruse the “Solitaire” section of this book, or look them up online), practice playing them by hand versus on a device, and next time you’re bored, rather than automatically jumping to your phone for entertainment, deal out some cards and play solitaire.  

5. Cribbage

The game of cribbage has been beloved by men for centuries. While it incorporates a board, it’s really a card game for generally two people (though three or four can readily be accommodated with just slight differences), with the board only used to keep easy track of points accumulated. There are two parts to cribbage: pegging (numerically counting your and your opponent’s cards up to 31) and counting (making sets, runs, and 15s with your cards — see rules for more detail). It’s a game that really defies being grouped into other broader categories of games, making it especially fun and unique; there’s not really anything else like it!

Believed to have been invented, or at least codified, by British soldier and poet Sir John Suckling in the 17th century, it was brought to American shores by English settlers where it became quite popular in the colonies, especially in New England. Requiring only two players, it was readily adopted by sailors and fishermen as a way to wile away the time. Cribbage boards, which have either 61 or 121 holes, were (and still are) crafted from a variety of materials (learn how to make your own board here!) and could be quite unique and elaborate in form and style. Eskimos would make cribbage boards out of walrus tusks to trade with the sailors and fishermen who made port near their villages.

Cribbage remained popular with mariners for hundreds of years, enjoying especially widespread play in the Navy during World War II. It was thought of as the unofficial game of submariners, who played round the clock as they patrolled for Japanese ships.

Cribbage continued to be played after the war, and was a favorite game of college students at least up through the previous generation. But it seems to have, along with most other analog games, largely fallen out of favor and sight. It’s not a game that easily adapts to digital play either, meaning a lot of folks know of the game, but don’t necessarily know how to play. Don’t be like those guys.

Click here to learn the rules of cribbage.

6. Blackjack

Blackjack is unique on this list as it’s primarily a game you’d be found playing in a casino. It’s actually the most widely played casino game there is. Why might that be? Largely because it’s fast to play and easy to learn. You and/or a group of other players are betting against the dealer — just the dealer, you’re not competing against other players — to see whose cards can get closest to adding up numerically to 21 (or at 21) without going over. There’s a bit more nuance to it, but that’s the gist. If you get closer than 21 to the dealer, you win (as does anyone else who did the same). If the dealer is closer to 21, you lose. The value of learning the game is that you’ll be able to walk into a casino — which can be an intimidating place — and know how to confidently play at least one game.

Blackjack (previously called just “21”) was first referenced in writing in a short story by Miguel de Cervantes (of Don Quixote fame) in the early 1600s, meaning it was invented and played likely sometime in the mid or late 1500s. When introduced into US gambling houses in the 1800s, an early, seemingly random rule dictated a 10-to-1 payout if your hand contained a black (spade or club) jack. The name obviously stuck, even though the 10-to-1 payout was quickly abandoned.

The game became more popular in the U.S. in the late 1950s when some math whizzes came up with strategies that enabled the player to gain an advantage over the house. Ed Thorp’s popular 1963 book Beat the Dealer was the first to lay out card counting to the general public, and hopeful players the world over have tried, both successfully and unsuccessfully, to (mostly) legally win millions of dollars (as portrayed in the popular movie 21).

While card counting is technically legal as long you aren’t using some sort of device to help you, it’s very hard to do successfully, and casinos have the right to kick you out and ban you if they don’t like your odds and suspect you of it. So don’t try. Do, however, know the basics of the game so that when you happen to be in Vegas for your brother’s bachelor party, you’ll at least be able to hang around and not just sheepishly watch over his shoulder as a spectator.

Click here to learn the rules of blackjack.

Know these 6 card games and you’ll be able to confidently join in a contest with friends, wile away time with your family on a rainy camping trip, entertain yourself on a long flight, and keep your grandma company every Sunday night.

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

Casablanca. I finally got around to watching this 1943 classic. What’s funny is that it’s so embedded in our culture that I thought I’d already seen it. But while I knew the famous lines and the general story, I’d never actually watched the whole thing. Now that I have, I can understand why it’s so iconic — it’s one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. At just 1 hour and 42 minutes, it doesn’t waste a single frame. Every scene moves the story forward. The ending got me: I teared up watching Rick put Ilsa on that plane. When I had Waller Newell on the podcast to talk about the code of manhood, he mentioned Casablanca as a perfect example of how love can inspire noble actions. Rick goes from cynical café owner to a man willing to sacrifice everything for a greater cause. If you haven’t seen this classic yet, queue it up this weekend. 

Why a College Basketball Coach Writes Hundreds of Handwritten Notes Every Month. The New York Times recently ran an article about Buzz Williams, the men’s basketball coach at Maryland, who writes 200 to 300 handwritten notes each month. Every week, each player gets a note in his physical mailbox. Williams also has his players write weekly thank-you letters to people who’ve helped them, then shows them how to address the envelope and mail it (not always common knowledge these days!). One of his players, Pharrel Payne, followed Williams from Texas A&M to Maryland in part because of the bond they formed through those letters. We’ve been big advocates of the handwritten letter for years. Great to see an example of its power out in the wild. 

Burberry London. I featured this cologne in our recent article on three signature fragrances every man should have. I picked it up because I wanted something specifically for the holidays; something that smelled like Christmas. Burberry London delivers. With notes of port wine, cinnamon, and leather, it’s like walking into a Fezziwig party. Most guys stick with one cologne year-round, but there’s something satisfying about having an annual rotation. It adds a bit of seasonal texture to life and marks the passage of time in a small but tangible way. If you’ve been wearing the same fragrance for years regardless of season, consider spicing things up by reaching for something warm and festive during the holidays.

Practice in Still Life by Adam Robbert. This book is a slow, rewarding read. Robbert explores how different practices — whether prayer, contemplation, or philosophical study — actually reshape how we perceive reality. The core idea is that askēsis, spiritual exercise, isn’t just about self-improvement. It fundamentally changes what we’re able to see and experience. The book draws from mystics, monastics, and philosophers across centuries, showing how their disciplines weren’t abstract theorizing but concrete methods for encountering truth. It’s a dense book. You’ll need to sit with it and maybe reread sections. But that’s part of the point. Understanding takes practice, and this book embodies what it’s teaching.

On our Dying Breed newsletter, we published How I Work: The FAQ and Sunday Firesides: Yes, Whammies!

Quote of the Week

People who honestly mean to be true really contradict themselves much more rarely than those who try to be ‘consistent.’

—Oliver Wendell Holmes

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

The holiday season is here, and with it comes a lineup of festive gatherings — from office parties and family dinners to New Year’s Eve celebrations. Each one calls for a little more style than your everyday jeans-and-sweater combo, but not so much that you look like you wandered out of a black-tie gala.

That’s where smart casual holiday style comes in. It strikes the balance between laid-back and polished — the kind of outfits that feel at home around a dinner table, under string lights, or clinking glasses at midnight.

Our buddies at Huckberry have put together three holiday smart casual looks to keep you covered for every event on the calendar. Each outfit blends seasonal texture and warmth with timeless pieces you’ll wear long after the decorations come down.

Check out Huckberry’s full lineup of holiday smart casual gear in their Smart Casual Shop.

The Office Party

For a holiday office party, start with a khaki blazer. It keeps things professional without feeling stuffy. Pair it with pleated cords for warmth and texture, and a brushed shirt for a soft, relaxed feel. The braided belt and loafers add polish, while the watch gives it just enough edge to feel festive without trying too hard. If your office leans formal, the blazer has you covered; if it’s more casual, lose the jacket.

1. Wills Classic Blazer
2. Wills Brushed Woven Dress Shirt
3. Wills Pleated Cord Trouser
4. Flint and Tinder Braided Leather Belt
5. Huckberry x Citizen Promaster Tough Watch
6. Jacques Soloviere Alexis Loafer

Thanksgiving or Christmas Dinner

A cable-knit sweater is cozy, classic, and built for seconds (and thirds). Layer it over an Oxford shirt for a bit of structure, and pair with green 365 Pants for some festive pop. The scarf looks good for family photos, and the chukka boots keep things grounded and sharp.

1. Wills Easycash Cable Knit Sweater
2. Flint and Tinder Oxford Draftsman Shirt
3. Flint and Tinder 365 Pant
4. Flint and Tinder 365 Core Belt
5. Howlin’ College Fun Scarf
6. Luca Moc Toe Chukka Boot

New Year’s Eve Party

For a refined New Year’s look, pair a tailored blazer with matching trousers — it’s elevated without going full tux. Swap the dress shirt for a cashmere polo to keep things relaxed but polished. A clean leather belt and Derby shoes finish it off, giving you a sharp, modern outfit that moves easily from dinner to midnight toast.

1. Wills Classic Blazer
2. Wills Easycash Long Sleeve Polo
3. Wills Rosedale Trouser
4. Flint and Tinder 365 Core Belt
5. Timex Marlin Manual Watch
6. Sanders Athens Plan Gibson Derby

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.

For most dinners, you’d be forgiven for not properly setting the table. But for holidays, dinner parties, and other special occasions, taking the time to set a table with the right utensils and dishes lends an air of significance to the occasion — something that feels particularly rare in our modern age.

On a practical level, though, most advice on this topic goes rather overboard with dinnerware, glassware, and silverware that 99% of households don’t have. Not to mention, the majority of tables simply don’t have space for each setting to have three plates and three glasses and a handful of flatware items. 

So in the guide above we sought to strike a balance between proper and practical. We’ve put the napkin under the forks to save space; we’ve not included dessert-specific items, as those things usually come out only after dinner has been cleared; and we’ve opted for just two beverage glasses, one for water and one for wine (or, really, whatever the special drink of choice is for the evening). Also note that spoons should technically only be placed if there’s a dish that requires it, but especially when kids (who often like using spoons more than forks) are included, they can be part of the place setting no matter what. 

Finally, it’s worth noting that this is a great job for kids to do in preparation for a party. It’s straightforward and helps keep them involved rather than just sitting around and asking when people are going to arrive or when dinner will be served.

Illustrated by Ted Slampyak

This article was originally published on The Art of Manliness.